Men
Grief, abusive relationships, misogyny, toxic masculinity through folk and body horror
Where to watch: MAX
Content warning: suicide, death, attempted sexual assault, predator behaviors, body horror
Non-Spoiler Synopsis: Harper escapes to the British countryside to heal after her husband's death when she is confronted by the men in the village.
Ratings (out of 5)
Blood:🩸🩸 Body horror
Psychological & Suspense: 💀
Grief: 💧💧💧💧
Overall😱😱😱
Worth the Watch?
Men was written and directed by Alex Garland and released in 2022. The film is poetically shot, and the British forest is stunning. Men does a wonderful job of creating tension between Harper and the men she encounters. “Men” explores themes of misogyny, toxic masculinity, grief, and rebirth. After watching this movie, you will wonder what you just watched and need a few moments to process.
**Spoilers ahead-read with caution**
This movie is rich with symbolism, from the green man to Sheela Ng Gig.
Harper is plagued with memories of her husband’s death. Harper and her husband get into a fight, and Harper wants to leave him. He tells her if she leaves, he will kill himself, and that will be on Harper. This is a form of emotional abuse when our partner emotionally holds us hostage. This is not okay in any relationship. You are not responsible for someone else’s decisions. If you are in an abusive relationship, there are supports.
Harper is looking out the window when she sees her husband falling past the window. It is unknown if he killed himself or if he fell trying to climb down from the neighbor’s upstairs unit. This event throws Harper into traumatic grief. Traumatic grief is when we lose someone suddenly and violently. Encountering suicide or violent death presents individuals with the daunting task of finding meaning amidst profoundly senseless events1.
Harper decides to rent a house in a rural village. Once there, she finds herself in a village of men, who all seem to act very odd around her. In each encounter, she is faced with toxic masculinity and misogyny. For women, a distinct correlation has been identified between internalizing sexism and various mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and diminished self-esteem. Men who engaged in misogynistic behaviors were found to have poorer mental health, including depression. Toxic masculinity has been linked to increased violence, including domestic partners and shootings.
The movie concludes with a powerful scene depicting childbirth, serving as a poignant reminder of our shared origin: we all enter this world through women.
”The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." - Kahlil Gibran
Violent death and/or suicide is a complex form of grief. When someone dies violently, we have a need for answers and often have to work through accepting that we may never have the answers we want or need. It is not uncommon to feel abandoned by community, family, friends, and religious institutions, as suicide is still considered taboo. Many people who have lost people to suicide also feel anger towards themselves and the deceased. Often, death by suicide involves police, which can further impact grief.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to." - Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
If you have lost a loved one to violent death or suicide, please seek grief therapy, a support group, or counseling to support you in your healing.
Find a therapist:
If you are feeling suicidal/homicidal:
Go to your nearest hospital or call 911
Dealing with toxic masculinity?
Check out this article.
Journaling Questions
Lastly, “Men” reminds us that we are all born from women. Take some time to reflect on the following questions:
How do you feel about women?
Childbirth?
How is your relationship with women?
How is your relationship with your mother?
Even if you do not have a relationship with your mother, take time to honor YOUR life. Plant something, buy yourself flowers, and spend time in nature. Honor your life because you are important!
”You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." - Rumi
“Men” delves deeply into themes of trauma, grief, and the toxic dynamics of relationships, highlighting the devastating impact of emotional and physical abuse and the complexities of navigating sudden loss. Through Harper's journey, the narrative sheds light on the pervasive presence of toxic masculinity and misogyny, underscoring their detrimental effects on mental health and broader societal well-being. The powerful conclusion, symbolized by childbirth, serves as a reminder of our shared humanity and the resilience inherent in the human experience. Together, these elements invite reflection on the importance of challenging harmful attitudes and behaviors, fostering empathy, and building solidarity in the face of life's challenges.
**end spoilers**
Want more?
Are you a fan of Alex Garland? His new movie, Civil War, is in theatres. He also created Annihilation and Ex-Machina.
Enjoy folk horror? Check out The Witch, The Ritual, Midsommar, or Blair Witch.
You can also listen to my podcast on Midsommar.
New movie review on Wednesdays
Thoughts? Have you watched any of these movies? Movies you’d like me to review? Love to hear what your thoughts!
Disclaimer: The resources provided in this article are intended to offer support, guidance, and information to individuals seeking to enhance their mental well-being. However, it is essential to recognize that the information provided is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, or medical advice. While the materials included may offer valuable strategies and insights, they are not tailored to individual circumstances, and their effectiveness can vary from person to person. Mental health is a complex and deeply personal matter, and seeking the guidance of a qualified mental health professional is highly recommended for personalized assessment and treatment. By accessing and using the resources provided in this article, you acknowledge and understand that they are not a substitute for professional mental health services. The creators of this article are not liable for any consequences resulting from the use or misuse of the information provided. Remember, prioritizing your mental health and seeking professional help when needed are essential steps in your journey toward well-being.
Rynearson, Edward K.. Violent Death (Psychosocial Stress Series) (p. 86). Taylor and Francis. Kindle Edition.